The Consequence of Kisses
by themoonprincesswhowasarabbit
Summary: Mamoru's never kissed a girl, but who is he to confess? He tries to kiss the next girl he sees, but what happens when it's Usagi!
1. Chapter 1

The Consequence of Kisses

Disclaimer: Kami-sama! DoN'T SUE ME!!!!!!! I've got nothing but a laptop, a printer and a cup of hot chocolate! I don't own Sailor Moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a beautiful Saturday morning at the Arcade. Motoki loved mornings like this and he looked forward to seeing his two favorite customers walk through the door today.

'Ring!'

A tall rangy man with dark hair and a matching expression slouched in and sat at his usual stool. "Coffee please, Motoki-kun." He said in a tired voice. Motoki pushed the coffee cup toward him.

"What's wrong, Mamoru-kun? Is it a girl?"

Why do you always have to think it's a girl, Motoki-kun?" Mamoru asked his friend exasperatedly. Motoki looked nonplussed.

"Mamoru-kun, my friend, nothing makes a guy more miserable or happy than something with sweet-smelling hair, perfect lips, and-"

"-curves like mountains. You're obsessing about Reika-san again," Mamoru interrupted, raising his eyebrows. Motoki flushed and Mamoru stared at the formica counter, brooding.

'If he knew how right he was, it'd kill me,' Mamoru thought. Now that he thought about it, he really could blame pretty much all of his problems on the female sex. It had been one mysterious-as-hell Princess who had haunted his dreams ever since he was a child. Later on, half the population of Tokyo (female, of course- ah yes, and a small minority of the male populace, too.) had made it their mission to hunt him down and take him out…on a date. This was all good and well, except that he just wasn't interested. As if **that** wasn't enough, he was also Tuxedo Kamen and had to fight Youmas with feminine forms and insane motives (such as killing him, draining people's energy, killing the Sailor Senshi, killing in general, making plans to take over the world, you know, that sort of thing). And then there was Sailor Moon. So clumsy he'd had to save her countless times times, so beautiful he'd had to mentally slap himself to stop thinking about her and focus on the Princess, it didn't help that her fuku skirt was shorter than a dish rag and revealed those long legs of hers. It was a blow to his ego how much of an effect she had on him and irritating as hell, almost as irritating as Odango, that slip of a girl who was every bit as hard for him to resist.

If only they knew, he thought wryly, what a distracted pervert the Hero of Tokyo really was. Mamoru's expression turned sour. He drank his coffee.

"Eh…Mamoru…are you alright?" Motoki asked fearfully as his friend held the mug in a vise-like grip that looked close to making the cup shatter. Mamoru realized what he was doing and relaxed his hold on the cup. Motoki shook his head. "See what I mean? You need a girl, Mamoru."

"Thanks. I'll put that on my list."

Motoki stopped in the middle of wiping down the counter. "Mamoru! I'm serious!" He said, annoyed with his friends flippancy. "Maybe if you had one, you'd lose the pole you've got shoved up your ass."

"Nicely put. I hope none of the kids around here heard that."

Mamoru eyed the blond man slowly building up a temper. What was it that they said about redheads and anger again? Motoki lost it and threw his rag to the ground. "Listen to me, Chiba Mamoru! While it may seem like no small miracle that I'm engaged to Reika, the hottest woman in the world, you couldn't have it any easier unless you were betrothed or something!" Mamoru froze, thrown off by only one word that his friend had said.

Betrothed?

The word hit him and reminded him of a breath-taking figure in white. Could the Princess have been betrothed to him, in another life perhaps? Was that why she strayed into his dreams? He shrugged that thought off. "Motoki-kun, you take your love life way too seriously. Weren't you the one who was freaking out over the phone two weeks ago because Reika asked you not to use so much tongue?" (A/N poor Motoki really got bashed there.)Motoki reddened. "It was a perfectly normal reaction." He muttered, face flaming. Mamoru smirked then paled slightly at Motoki's comeback.

"It's not like you would know anything about that! You've probably never ever been kissed!"

Mamoru twitched. (A/N Poor Mamo-chan! Sorry I made him a little Usagish) "I have, too! I've kissed lots of girls! I've kissed so many it doesn't even faze me! I could turn around and kiss the first girl I see and not care!" To illustrate this, he turned around just as a girl was walking up the counter and held her to him, crushing his lips to hers.

Usagi was on top of the world. She had on a new pale blue mini skirt and a light mint green top she'd bought the other day. She looked prettier than usual today as she ran to the Crown Arcade, pigtails flying behind her. 'Come on, Usagi,' she told herself. 'It's a good day today; don't ruin it by being late.' She arrived at the Crown and stopped to catch her breath. 'Maybe I can talk to Motoki=onii-san…if Mamoru-baka doesn't show up. She walked in and saw Mamoru leave his seat. 'It's my lucky day!' she thought triumphantly to herself. 'Oh, I hope he leaves before the girls show up and force me to talk Senshi Business!" But to her surprise, Mamoru did not leave. Instead, he turned around, grabbed her roughly by the waist and kissed her. She'd had no time to realize what was going on before it was too late. All she knew was that a tender pair of lips was firmly set on hers and that one hand was holding her face up while the other supported her limbs which had given out from underneath her.

Bliss gave into horror as comprehension dawned on her. She was kissing her worst enemy…

And she never wanted it to stop. For the longest time she was locked in his embrace until an impatient cough alerted Usagi to the girls' presence. Rei, Makoto and Minako stood there, amused smirks apparent on their faces while a blushing Ami clutched her textbook like it was a life preserver. Mamoru and Usagi broke apart, panting. They looked into each other's eyes.

'Oh fuck, I just kissed a minor…'

'Oh Kami! I kissed an asshole…and I liked it!'

Don't hate me minna! There's more where that came from! Please review or I won't continue!


	2. There's a Voice in my Head: Mamoru

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon but it would make a nice birthday present, ne? (ahem, that would be July 3rd, in case you were wondering. )

Minako broke the tension. "Usagi-chan, Mamoru-san. Care to explain?" Similar panicked expressions crossed both of their faces.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Usagi fled, her pigtails whipping passerby.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Mamoru left the Arcade and ran in the opposite direction, using just as much speed as Usagi had, leaving a dust cloud trailing behind him.

Ami scratched her head. "You know, minna, I'm really beginning to wonder if Mamoru-san could be Tuxedo Kamen. No human should be able to match Usagi-chan's speed." She took out her little computer and began to type, unaware of the storm going through the other Senshi's minds. Makoto slammed a fist on the counter. "Kami-Sama help him if he's hurt Usagi-chan." She saw an open-mouthed Motoki picking up his rag and addressed him. 'What happened?" She demanded.

Motoki paled. 'If Makoto-chan finds out that Mamoru kissed her because I baited him, Makoto-chan will kill him, and he'll murder me! Kami-sama, what do I do?'

"Uh," he stammered. "…IaskedMamoru-kunifhe''tyoudaretranslateandMakoto-chan,pleasepleasedon'tshootthemesssenger.

(a/n translation: I asked Mamoru-kun if he'd never kissed anyone and he got mad and kissed the first girl he saw .Minako, don't you dare translate and Makoto-chan, please, please don't shoot the messenger." Makoto glared at Minako, who tilted her head in confusion. Her face suddenly brightened. "I get it! Don't worry Makoto-chan it was mostly Motoki-kun's fault, and sorta Mamoru-san's too!" Makoto calmly set her school bag down and began to stalk the Arcade manager with all the grace of a practiced tigress. "Makoto…"Motoki said nervously, but the girl took no notice. He threw the Amazon a terrified glance and locked himself in the supply closet. "Maybe I shouldn't have gotten up today," he groaned to himself.

Usagi kept running, then finally plunked herself on a park bench in Juuban Park. "So embarrassing," She muttered to herself, touching her lips in memory of the kiss. It had been like a warm spot of sunlight at the end of winter. She'd never say it but she wasn't so much repulsed by the taste of Mamoru-(could she still call him-baka? Or should she say –san?) As she was repulsed by herself for giving in, forgetting the fact that he was the one person she never got a true smile from. –She hated herself for wanting the one person she could have. She curled herself up and placed her head on her knees, wondering how much she'd have to beg for Cupid to hit her with a frying pan inside of a Love Arrow.

Mamoru was sprinting. Anywhere, everywhere, he didn't care, so long as he could leave the confusion behind him. 'What the hell was I thinking? Kiss the first girl who comes up like I'm under some stupid love potion in the movies or a crazy lech going for anything that moves?!'

_Not just anything that moves. You'd go for something on long legs that can barely use 'em on the sidewalk._

'What the – where the hell did that come from? Last I checked I don't hear voices in my head!'

_Tough breaks, you stiff._

'And now I know I'm insane. The voice in my head is insulting me in the corniest way possible. By the way-get the hell out of my head! The only voice in my head is ME!'

_Mamoru?_ The voice asked him almost kindly. Mamoru said nothing.

_Do you know what most people would call you right now?_

'What?' He snapped back.

_Insane. _Mamoru looked around and saw a crowd of people in the street outside the supermarket watching him curiously and muttering to himself. 'Now what?' He cursed himself. He darted away into the park. He'd had enough of persecution for today.

Usagi walked through the gardens taking in the heady scent of roses that tossed through the air. 'It's almost like it means to make me forget all the bad things that ever happened today.' She'd barely had time to register that thought when something huge slammed into her, knocking her backwards, and pinning her to the ground. "Gomen nasai," She started to say as she looked up into the stranger's face. She froze in shocked recognition.

"Mamoru-baka?!"

"Odango?!"

Author's note: okay minna, make a choice:

Would you rather see Mamoru getting the stuffing knocked out of him by some old lady or Kenji? You choose, because either way I'm going to put him in a little bit more agony. AIEEE! getting chased by Mamoru and his rabid fangirls I PROMISE, MAMORU, IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT LATER!

Onegai, rate and comment, Minna.


	3. Tasers and Outbursts

Disclaimer: Why is everyone so mean? I don't own Sailor Moon, okay, stop rubbing it in already!!!!!!! insert wailing

Okaysniff next chapter.

Mamoru looked down into a pair of astonished blue eyes. She looked every bit as shocked as he was to find her under him and he colored, realizing that her chests, were crushed beneath his.

_Shimatta, Mamoru, look on the bright side! At least anybody watching will know now that you are not at all gay._

Damn that voice.

'Shut up you.' He growled to himself.

_Well honestly, there was a lot of mounting evidence like the fact that you've never had a girlfriend and that you've got that pink shirt in your closet and-_

'Shut. Up.'

_You could have waited for the coup de grace._

'Oh, yeah? And what was that?'

_The fact that you're a virgin._

Usagi looked up at the dark-haired man's expression. His face was contorted in annoyance and rage and it hurt her somehow to see it. She wasn't that much of a bother to him was she?

_He looks a little like Mars without her Midol, ne? _A little voice sniggered in her head. It was feminine and light and unfamiliar. 'Eh…who are you?' The voice giggled. _I'm not telling until you figure it out. Until then, you're stuck with me!' _"Please no," she groaned, forgetting about the sidewalk below her and accidently knocking herself out.

'Kami-sama, she fainted! Now what?' Mamoru thought, panicking for a moment.

_Well you can have your way with her now if you want. Which I know, you do._

Mamoru shook his head furiously. 'No, no, no, no, no, NO! It's illegal to do that to an unconscious woman, never mind a minor! What kind of sick pervert are you?'

_Damn are you going to be surprised._

Mamoru looked confused. 'Why's that?'

'_Cause I may be the one thinking dirty, but you're the one actually acting on it. And you're the one who's actually going to get his ass kicked by Usagi's dad._

Mamoru jumped to his feet and turned to see his executioner storming up to meet him.

Tskino Kenji had been enjoying his lunch break in the park when he saw Usagi get practically run over by a harried young man. She'd fallen under his body and Kenji's eyes bulged to see the man lying on top of her without making a single gesture to move or help her up. For Kenji there appeared to be only two ways to handle the situation: either kill the strange bastard and rescue the girl or taser his ass, drag both of them home and dispose of the man's body quietly.

He opted for the latter.

Mamoru Had smelt danger a moment too late. "Sir…" He began nervously, eying the man now rifling through his briefcase. Kenji ignored him and seized an evil-looking pointer gleefully. "Yes!" He crowed and Mamoru took a hesitant step back. "Look it's all just a misunder-" He was cut off by the sound of his own screams as the instrument was rudely shoved up his-

"Assuming they were to bump into each other her again do you suppose there would be tension or raging anger in their communications?" Ami enquired, sipping her blueberry sorbet. She looked at the other Senshi.

"Two thousand yen says they're gonna be all over each other by next week!" Minako said, smirking over her orange smoothie. Ami looked scandalized but she turned to Makoto, suddenly remembering something. "Makoto? Are you still angry that Mamoru kissed Usagi?" Makoto frowned. "I just don't want Usagi to get hurt. Mamoru may have acted like a selfish bastard, stealing her first kiss like that but I don't think anyone could disagree with the fact that it was one hell of a kiss. HCl's got nothing on those as far as chemistry goes. "HCl? You're cramming for exams again aren't you?" Ami said appreciatively, causing Makoto to sweat slightly. 'I need to, or I'll fail!"She said, fearful of the bluenette's wrath. Ami brightened immediately, unaware of her friend's horror. "I've got books you can borrow." Rei came to her rescue, looking irate and inpatient to change the subject. "Ami, our leader is out and running all over Tokyo. Wouldn't it be a good idea to make sure she doesn't SLIP UP AND REVEAL THAT SHE'S SAILOR MOON?!"

The Arcade was silent, hearing Rei's outburst. Minako covered for her.

"ARE YOU KIDDING? SAILOR MOON WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING THAT STUPID! I THINK SAILOR MARS WOULD, THOUGH, BECAUSE SHE'S A REAL BAKA!"

Upon listening to Minako's retort, the people in the Arcade shrugged and went about their business. Motoki also continued about his work, unable to stop wondering why he kept thinking about Sailor Moon and her Senshi whenever he saw those girls around.

As promised, Kenji had the honors in this chapter! Want to know how Mamoru survives? It's all up to you, minna, because I'm not continuing until I see twenty reviews. And I mean it! I even went out and bought more manga and chocolate for the wait!

Ah, Blackmail. Who would have thought I'd use you?


	4. Say That Again?

I gave up. I can't do this waiting for reviews thing anymore because I'm itching to give you the next chapter! This time just review because you feel like it minna, okay? I promise I will upload everything as soon as I finish it. Senshi's honor, ne?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon because that's Takeuchi-san's alright? Aspiring manga-ka/writer I may be (eh…I'll upload it all onto Fiction Press, I promise, otuto-cough otaku cough kun) but Naoko Takeuchi-san I am not. She writes sushi. I write cheesecake. Moving on.

'Ugh…ow…okay my head's killing me' Usagi thought as she came to, slowly, refusing to open her eyes.

_I'm not shocked. Do you always klutz out when you're surprised?_

'Please tell me you're a nightmare.'

_That, my dear, would be a lie. I am real. Now can you figure out who I am already?_

"Great." She moaned, pulling a blanket over her head. "I hate you," she mumbled.

_Are all you humans this ridiculous_?

'Aha! You're not human!'

_Neither are you._

'What do you mean, I'm not human?!' Usagi mentally screeched at the voice.

_Well, you're Sailor Moon, aren't you?_

Usagi was stunned. Was the voice a Dark Kingdom spy? It let loose a fit of soft giggles.

_No, not even close._

Usagi relaxed for a moment but then grew alert, remembering what Luna had always warned her.

"**Sailor Moon, the Dark Kingdom will always try to trap you through their trickery. Be prepared to find evil in the most unexpected of places."**

'How can I trust you? I don't even know who you are.' She shot back. The voice sounded sad.

_I know you better than anyone else, Sailor Moon. I know you so well that I even know why you are so different from the other Senshi._

Usagi felt something close in on her. What did the voice mean?

Mamoru stirred painfully, wincing with every movement he made, though he found he could not lift his arms or legs though he appeared to be sitting in a chair. A little more movement of his fingers and he realized that he was handcuffed. Well, at least whoever had kidnapped him was kind enough to leave a gag. A door opened and two men walked. Mamoru paled at the sight of Kenji Tskino, grateful at least for the policeman flanking him. Even Tskino Kenji wouldn't commit a homicide with a witness present. The hope was dashed when Kenji smirked and introduced the other man. "This is my friend Officer Kurada. He's doing me a special favor." Mamoru gulped as the burly policeman dragged a card table and another chair over. He plunked the table in front of Mamoru and placed a machine like a typewriter on top. "Shall we?" Office Kurada asked. Mamoru sighed. "Yes, sir." 'If only my hands were free… I could have just thrown a few roses and gotten the hell out!'

"Usagi, dear?" Usagi rubbed her eyes and looked up blearily at her blue-haired mother. She'd fallen asleep thinking about what the voice had said. What was it that it said anyway?

"Mama?" Ikuko put a finger to her lips. "Shush." She looked conspiratorially at her half-asleep daughter and lowered her voice. "Kenji-Papa's downstairs and he's interviewing your boyfriend! Usagi, he looks like such a nice boy, do you think we could have him over for dinner tonight?" Usagi looked confused. "Boyfriend?" She said bewildered. Ikuko looked sympathetic and remembered herself. "I'm so sorry, Usagi. You hit your head and here I am interrupting your sleep! You go upstairs and I'll rescue your new beaux in time for supper!" Usagi vaguely nodded and drifted upstairs, barely aware at the victorious giggles in her head.

"Have you ever abused prescription drugs?"

"No."

"Drunk more than five servings of alcohol in an hour?"

"Yes."

"When was the last time you did this?"

"Three months ago, Embassy Ball."

Mamoru was irritated. Make that pissed. It turned out that the typewriter was actually a lie detector and for the past hour and a half the policeman had shot questions at him that he'd had to answer, much to his chargrin. They were of the standard-just-questioning- a-could-be-serial-killer-type and Mamoru answered them right away, feeling somewhat insulted. What did they take him for, anyway, a criminal?

But then, the Question happened. THE Question.

" Have you ever been sexually active?" Mamoru burned red. Answer yes and the lie detector would alert the policeman anyway. Tell him no and feel humiliated beyond all reckoning. "Well?" Officer Kumada pressed. "No." Mamoru muttered truthfully. Kenji exploded in laughter. "You…you're a…ha ha Ha HAHAHAHAHA!" He cackled, clutching his chest and blinking through his tears of insane mirth. Mamoru glowered at the man and suddenly heard similarly mocking roars of laughter in his head. He groaned and tried to shut off the lunacy on all sides around him.

_Too late, my friend. You've got multiple identities, multiple personalities, and a voice in your head that's not yours. You're already psychotic, mate._

Mamoru was contemplating suicide methods when there was a knock on the door and footsteps down the basement stairs. "Dear, don't you think you've tortured Usagi's little boyfriend long enough? It's dinnertime and I want my turn to question him." The woman speaking came out of the shadows and smiled at the prisoner. "Could you stay for an evening meal? I'm very interested in finding out all about my daughter's sweetheart." Mamoru's mind went blank but for one word.

'What?'


	5. There's a Voice in My Head:Usagi

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Repeat. I. Do. Not. Own. Sailor. Moon. Can I continue now?

"Sweetheart?" Mamoru repeated, confusedly.

'What kind of baka would go for Usagi and not be scared off by her father!'

_You would._

'I'm not a baka!'

_Excuse me, but Usagi's pet name for you is sadly close to the truth._

'Pet name!' Mamoru echoed, aghast. What was this voice talking about?

_Yes, a pet name. You do know what a pet name is right? A name your would-be lover uses as an affectionate gesture?_

'Would-be wha-?' The voice ignored him entirely and went on without stopping.

_Although, frankly I prefer a more tender endearment like darling, my dear, Endy, or any combination of those three, really._

'Endy?'

_Yes, Endy, That's what your dear Usagi used to call me._

'Usagi knows you? She calls you 'darling Endy?''

The voice sounded unabashed. _Well yes ,Mamoru. _The voice chuckled. _Oh the memories…she'd whisper it in my ear all night long in those sinfully pleasurable hours…_

'WHAT?!'

Ikuko stared curiously at the young man who had clearly spaced out. "There's a bathroom by the kitchen if you want to wash up." She said kindly, leading him up the basement stairs. He followed her automatically, focused on his raging thoughts. Or at least on the idea of getting someone to exorcise that mental irritation of his.

_Irritation? Oh, is that what I am? Is that your explanation for why you're so jealous and angry?_

'I'll give you jealous and angry, you little mother fu-'

_Technically I'm a pedophile, but what do I care? She's my fiancé._

Mamoru shuddered, trying to collect his emotions. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Do not scream. He inhaled painfully. 'Okay, so as far as I can tell, you're engaged, you've known Usagi for a while, she calls you Endy and she'd slept with you. You know what you sound like?'

The voice said nothing and Mamoru kew it was curious despite whatever it said. He'd scored a point.

'You sound like a dead man.'

_I don't like what you're insinuating._

'I'm not insinuating anything. It's either Tskino-san killed you or you've disappeared off the face of the Earth and I have to murder you myself.'

_So…you'd kill me to defend Usagi's honor?_

'Why the hell wouldn't I, you bastard?'

_Calm down…I'm glad. Now I know I was right about us._

'Hang on, what? How'd you change the subject like that? Are you bipolar, by any chance? ADD, maybe?'

_Stop with the sarcasm! I'm just glad you're protective of my Princess. It's a testament to our bond._

Mamoru went white. He looked in the bathroom mirror. 'Pr…prin…princess?' He croaked, not daring to believe what it had said.

Usagi woke up again, feeling restless and tired despite the long sleep she'd had. She lay in her bed, holding her favorite bunny and thinking about that voice. She wondered if she could call the voice uo somehow, the way Rei called up her visions or Ami her Mercury Computer. It was worth a shot.

'Um…hi?'

_Hello._

'Um…you know what you were saying about how I'm so different from the other Senshi? I was wondering if you could tell me something about that.'

_Hmm…it might give me away but sure, ask away._

Usagi shot off so many questions the voice nearly collapsed in giggles. Usagi stopped mid-question, a truly urgent one prominent in her thoughts.

'Why are my questions so funny?'

_I'm so sorry, Usagi. _The voice apologized, seeming to only have just remembered that it had hurt Usagi's feelings. _It's just that it's like looking in a mirror hearing you chatter. My mother always laughed at me for that and now I see why._

Usagi frowned in disbelief. 'Your mother teased you about that? That's so cruel!'

The voice laughed quietly.

_We haven't changed a bit, have we, Usagi?_

Usagi frowned again, pale eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'We-what? You're going to need to explain everything because I really don't get it.'

_I can't do that, Usagi._

'Well, I can't figure it out. You can call me a baka and say mean things if you want, but I just want to know what's going on!

_Who calls you a baka? Is it a human?_

'Everyone does, don't change the subject.'

_But I really want to know! I might be able to help you!_

The voice was adamant and Usagi found that she could not argue. 'Fine, everyone including my parents, my brother, my teacher, Luna, the Senshi, and Mamoru call me baka because I'm bad at school and stupid. Satisfied?' Usagi said, eyes swallowing the tears that were sure to come. The voice was suddenly very silent.

_Forgive me that was rude of me to ask. If it makes you feel any better the Senshi made me feel a little inferior too._

'Why…oh, gosh sorry, I asked, just forget what I said!'

The voice laughed, a little sadly in remembrance. _I don't mind, it was a long, long time ago. They were my friends but I felt left out whenever they trained for battles or had meetings with my mother. I couldn't fight with them, it was forbidden and I used to wish desperately that I could, just so I could be more than someone they protected. I guess I sort of envy you, Usagi._

Usagi felt sympathetic and cried silently for the voice. For a long time she sat on her bed, rocking back and forth. She calmed down.

'You must have been so lonely. I can't believe the Senshi did that. Wait-did I do that to you?'

_No you didn't. But that's because you weren't a Senshi then._

'I don't understand.'

_You will, don't worry._

'Hey you promised you'd tell me everything!'

_That's right. I- _The voice broke off. Usagi became frustrated. 'What?' _It's dinnertime! Later I promise!_

Usagi groaned and got up to change.

She walked downstairs and missing a step tumbled down the stairs. (I do this. A lot.) She would have fallen face-first on the hallway tiles but for a huge green wall. "Ow." The wall intoned and Usagi looked up to see Mamoru, wincing slightly. He looked down in shock. For the first time, words failed him as he tried to think of something to say. "Usagi, I-"He tried to say but a deep feminine voice drowned her out.

"Usagi-chan! It's dinnertime! While we eat, you and Mamoru-kun can tell your papa and me all about your relationship!"

A shocked look came over Usagi. What was going on? The voice let out another musical titter and Usagi wondered if she was slipping off the edge of Insanity.

Thanks Minna!!


	6. Insinuations and Interruptions

Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been nursing a few bruises from a little research jaunt for "Head Over Heels." Egaads, who knew gymnasts were so tough? Anyway, moving on

Disclaimer: Je n'ai pas Sailor Moon. Je suis trop pauvre pour payer les droits à lui, d'accord ?

Alrighty then.

Dinnertime had never seemed so tortuous before tonight.

Somehow -Usagi didn't even want to know how- her mother had gotten the idea that Mamoru was her boyfriend and invited him to dinner so she and Kenji could get to know him better. 'Just my luck.' Usagi moaned to herself. 'First guy who comes over to meet my parents and get their blessing would have to be Mamoru-baka. Why couldn't it be Motoki?'

_You know, in some cultures, people who share a kiss have to get married._

'Well, that explains infidelity.' Usagi murmured. The voice sounded delighted. _See? You HAVE learned something from Mamoru!_

'Ugh, seriously? I'm acting like his Royal Jerkness now? Ack! I don't wanna sound like that mother fu-

_It appears you've picked up his vocabulary as well. I ought to wash your mouth out with soap._

'But you're dead.'

… _I'll figure something out. _The voice retreated into the back of Usagi's mind muttering to itself. Usagi let out a breath of relief. At least dinner would go on without her being distracted.

Little did Usagi know that she'd be wishing for a distraction.

"So Mamoru how did you and Usagi meet?" Ikuko asked, passing him a plate of odangos. Looking at them, he got an idea. "It was a regular fairy-tale meeting. I battled afternoon crowds, crossed the sidewalks and found a fair odangoed maiden. Who hit me in the head with a test paper." Mamoru pulled a wry smile, to which Usagi responded to with a look of disgust. Ikuko noticed almost nothing of this non-verbal exchange. "That's a rather cute story to tell your kids." She remarked. Usagi's ears steamed at this insinuation. Hell'd freeze before she'd ever do anything physical with Mamoru! (A/N: if only you knew, Usagi.) No sooner had that thought formed in her mind though, then did the memory of Mamoru's warm breath and soft lips fill her head. She licked her own lips unconsciously, thinking of how tender his had been. 'How does a guy have soft lips like that? Is he an obsessive Chapstick user or something?' She wondered, frowning as she studied the mouth of the man across from her.

_She's looking at your lips, she's looking at your lips!_

'I know that, idiot!'

_And she looks so damn sexy doing it! Come on, Mamoru, pull your hormones together!_

'If you look to her right, you'll see exactly why I'm not listening to you.' Next to Usagi was Kenji, still glowering at him with suspicion. He had one evil eye trained on Mamoru while he ate, and it made Mamoru very nervous. The voice seemed to get the idea.

_So much for that idea…I'll come up with something. _The voice said dubiously and was quiet.

'Well, at least he's shut up already.' Mamoru thought, turning his attention back to Ikuko just as she was about to ask him something. "So what are you studying, Mamoru?" Mamoru, smiled. This question was easy enough. "My major is medicine but I have a minor in physics." Ikuko looked confused. "But wait? What does physics have anything to do with medicine?" Mamoru shrugged. "It's one of my favorite subjects; I couldn't think of anything else." Usagi made a face and Mamoru nearly choked with laughter looking at her. 'She probably despises everything to do with science; I can just see drawing horns and beards on Newton and Einstein.' A mental image of her doing just that filled his head and he broke into an unholy grin. 'Somehow, that image was downright adorable.' His thoughts were cut off by the sound of a beeper. He looked around for the noise but all he saw was Usagi, looking like a hunted rabbit with nowhere to run.

I know, it's short but I promise the next one is gonna be good.


	7. Awkward Revelations

Sorry, I must seem like the most horrible bitch for not continuing. I accidentally deleted this chapter but luckily, I remembered the gist of it.

R&R&R please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. I don't own much of anything actually. 

Usagi was frozen. 'What do I do?!!' She yelled at herself. 'Mama won't let me leave the table with a guest here!'

_So just tell her._

'What about Daddy?'

_Him, too._

'Mamoru?'

_Absolutely._

WHAT! Why on earth would I ever trust him with this?!'

_Because you're wasting time. Go!_

'Fine but first, I have to deal with Shingo.'

_Yes, yes…what?_

Usagi plucked her broach from her shirt and whacked her little brother upside the head. He slumped into his chair, unconscious.

Kenji and Ikkuko were shocked. "Usagi! What's the matter with you!" Usagi fidgeted. "I needed to do that because Shingo can't know." She said nervously. Ikkuko stared at her, eyebrows furrowed in enquiry. "What can't he know?" Usagi swallowed and held up her broach. "Moon Prism Power Make-up" She whispered.

Mamoru shielded his eyes until they adjusted to the bright pink light that filled the room. He opened them and saw something he knew he'd never forget. Usagi was suspended in mid-air, completely nude. He felt heat rise in the pit of his stomach, but he turned away just before Kenji looked to see if he was peeping.

Mamoru was in trouble. A part of him remembered to respect her modesty but yet…

_A part of you really wants to jump her bones._

Fuck.

'Shut up!' Mamoru screamed.

_So you can go on ogling her? You've got some drool on your chin by the way._

Mamoru hastily wiped his mouth with his sleeve, earning himself a dirty look from Usagi's father. 'My days feel numbered all of a sudden.' He thought glumly.

Usagi's feet touched the floor. "I've got to go." She said awkwardly. She made to leave but was stopped.

"Wait."

Mamoru's warm hand was on her shoulder. She made the mistake of turning to look at him and she was caught up in his eyes. They were darkened and fathomless and Usagi felt unsure, looking into his shadowed soul. H stared back and as he did that, he pulled a blood red rose from inside his jacket. Usagi's gaze broke away from his as she watched him transform into Tuxedo Kamen. Her mind was silent but for a single startling thought.

' Mamoru is Tuxedo Kamen… Oh my god, Tuxedo Kamen saw me naked!'

All comments are appreciated, welcomed, and yes, begged for. Question by the way: You want the other Senshi to find out Mamoru's identity this battle or later on? Tell me!


	8. Implications at Stake

Chapter Eight:

Implications at Stake

Disclaimer: Unless you, dear audience, want to buy me the rights (which I would not turn down, trust me!) to Sailor Moon, I can't delete this stupid disclaimer. Sorry about that.

Never in a thousand years would Sailor Moon ever be able to recount how she left with Tuxedo Kamen that day. The details were a blur, meaningless in the face of more important things.

Like the fact that Tuxedo Kamen was carrying her bridal-style into battle.

"Erm…Mamo-I mean Tuxedo Kamen? Is this really necessary?" Sailor Moon asked blushing. Tuxedo Kamen hid his face, thankful for the Mask that hid the heat slowly showing on his face. "It'd be much faster than going separately." He said evasively as he perched on the branch of an oak tree in Juuban Park. They could see below them that a fierce fight had broken out between the Senshi and a rather ludicrously red lace-coved youma. "They need my help!" said Sailor Moon as she wrung her hands in worry.

'I'm not looking forward to this. What are the others going to say?'

_Not to mention, what is Mars going to do about her severe allergy to your tardiness._

'I don't need this from you right now! I've got to focus…jeez I sound like Ami!'

_You know, when you're as old as I am, you begin to take that as a compliment. But I'll stay quiet if I must._

'Thank you.'

_It's not permanent._

'Ugh…okay, fine.'

Watching Sailor Moon twitch gave Tuxedo Kamen an idea. Granted, it was his first impulse and therefore not particularly reliable, but it was an idea nonetheless.

"Odango," He whispered. Sailor Moon looked at him half angry but before she could screech, he picked her up and tossed her out of the tree.

"TTTTTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mars and Jupiter looked up at the sound and their heads craned to see an odangoed Senshi sail out of nowhere and land precisely on Sailor Mercury. "Ouch." Sailor Venus winced, turning back to the monster at hand as Sailor Moon scowled up at the trees for some reason before taking out her tiara.

_That wasn't very gallant of you,_ the voice chided in Mamoru's ear. Mamoru frowned.

'It's practical.'

_Sure, now it is. But you've just blown your chance with Sailor Moon __and__ Usagi. Now the only woman left in your life is the Princess and she's MINE._

'What! Why!?'

_I got there first._

'But you had Usagi, and besides which I still need to know if you're alive so I can wring your little Hentai neck.'

_I'm already dead. And even if I weren't, would it be too late for me to say I haven't known Usagi exactly._

'What? Wait, you did or you didn't, which is it!?'

_After the battle, Romeo, you've got a Senshi to make up with…and hopefully make out with, _The voice sniggered. Tuxedo Kamen growled and waited to make his move.

"EEP!" Sailor Moon found herself dodging deadly paper hearts and lace, trying to find her chance to dust it. "EEP!" Catching the soldier unawares, the Youma pinned her to the ground. At the last possible moment, several roses shattered Sailor Moon's restraints and Tuxedo Kamen landed gently on the ground. "You fool with symbols of love and that is something untolerable, Desist!" Sailor Moon glowered. "Don't think that just because you came to my rescue I'll forgive you! You could have killed me, pulling a move like that!"

"I missed?" Tuxedo Kamen answered sheepishly. He didn't dare say anything else. Who knew if Sailor Moon would turn her Tiara onto him, too?

Taking the opportunity, Sailor Moon let her weapon fly at the enemy, but before the dust had even hit the ground, Tuxedo Kamen scooped her up and disappeared into the night, leaving behind three Senshi to care for a still-unconscious Sailor Mercury, a thousand questions going through their heads and not a single explanation in sight.

Tiens! Rate and Comment!


	9. Subconscious Explanations: Mamoru

Chapter 9

Subconscious Explanations: Mamoru

Warning: Mamoru is somewhat Ichigo (Bleach)/ Kyo (Furuba) here. Do not kill me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon yet. Hey, maybe…no, never mind.

Mamoru said nothing as he leapt gracefully from building to building, a red-faced Sailor Moon in his arms. Not a word escaped his lips when he landed in a safely hidden alley. "Could you cut the 'strong and silent' stuff for a minute and talk to me?" Sailor Moon demanded impatiently as she watched him check for eavesdroppers and enemies. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know," She added after a bit, hoping this would get him to break the silence. Tuxedo Kamen fiddled with his hat. "What I want to know, huh? I don't even know where to begin." He said thoughtfully, his hat in his hands. "Well for starters, we should de-transform." She said firmly, walking a little deeper into the shadows. Tuxedo Kamen noticed this and realized something aloud.

"Is your de-transformation anything like your transformation?" Although he could barely make out her outline in the shadows, Mamoru could almost feel the blonde heroine narrow her eyes at him with an inhuman intensity. "Yes it is and if you don't turn around in one minute, the only person who will ever be afraid of you again is an asthmatic!"

Mamoru couldn't help himself.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow, Odango."

"If you don't turn around, baka, I'll cremate you! Move it!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" He said, turning around. 'Jesus, was she always this hostile?"

_She's not hostile so much as she's jealous that you got to see her when she didn't get to see you. And speaking of which, DAMN! She-_

'Hold that thought,' Mamoru said, mentally rolling his eyes. 'Alright, why would Odango want to objectify me?"

_Well, if she could fall for me, then she could fall for you, ne?_

Mamoru was suddenly angry. 'She's no slut!' He roared. The voice seemed, even amused.

_It's rather funny to listen to you jump to conclusions, but that's not what I meant."_

'Tell me.' Mamoru groused. 'You do owe me an explanation, remember?' He said threateningly.

The voice went on.

_Very well, you see, I lived, oh, about a thousand years ago. At the time, the people of the Earth and Moon weren't allowed to be within a hundred kilometers of each other. Unfortunately, I, the Prince of Earth, could not help myself around the Princess of the Moon and so-'_

'You slept with her.' Mamoru said tonelessly.

_Well, that too, but hey! No interruptions!_

'Sorry.'

_Anyway, long story short, we had a tryst, war broke out, I died, she died, we get reborn on earth, leave aside that little detail that I'm more of a gentleman and less of an ass wipe compared to you, the fact remains that I'm you and you're me._

'What? Then who's the Princess?'

_Shouldn't she tell you?_

'Tell me, or so Kami help me, I will figure out how to kick your ass!

_Calm down, already! I'll tell you where she is._

'Just say it, damn it.'

_She's behind you, and may I say, she is as sexy as hell when she's steamed with you._


	10. Four's a Mob

At long last I get to use it. My second choice. Sorry Usagi, but I may have to bang up your Mamo-chan a little to work this out but it's worth it. Soo worth it. breaks into evil laughter What? I'm high on lack of homework and Pop tarts, what can I say?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Yet. I'll think of something though, don't worry.

Now that the battle and inner was over, Usagi was pissed and completely focused on it. This only served to be a devasting combination if there ever was one.

"Ma-mo-ru!" Shegrowled, hans balling into fists. "You have five minutes to tell me everything I want to know before I beat it out of you!" Mamoru turned red and looked away.

"Go ahead." He said, speaking to the trash can.

"How long have you been Tuxedo Kamen?"

"Since I found the first nijuishou."

"Liar! What about the time when I first met you-at OSAP?"

"What?" Mamoru looked shocked.

_Umm Usagi, Mamoru might not have-_

"You mean it really happened?!"

-_completely realized he was Tuxedo Mask at the time._

'Ya think?' Usagi asked sarcastically.

_There you go, acting like Mamoru again._

"I DO NOT ACT LIKE MAMO-BAKA!" Usagi yelled. Mamoru looked startled. Er… Usagi? You wouldn't be talking to a voice in your head, would you?" Usagi's mouth fell open. "Of course not! Why would you think that, heheh…I didn't say anything out loud, right?" She asked, laughing nervously.

'Oh nooooo!! I'm cracking up!! Was it the battle, the lack of dinner, last night's study session? It couldn't have been ice cream or Sailor V; I haven't had either of them since yesterday!'

_Don't panic! You'll just end up yelling something out again!_

"Odango, are you there?"

The nickname seemed to snap Usagi out of her thoughts. 'Alright, that's it.' She scowled, stalking out of the alley. It wasn't long before Mamoru caught up to her. "What did I do this time, Odango?" He asked angrily. "Is it because I threw you out of the tree?"

Usagi said nothing but her eyebrows knit further in anger.

"Is it because your parents thought I was your boyfriend?"

Still nothing. Usagi's face was now a pale pink.

"Are you mad I accidentally kissed you earlier?"

The shade of pink took on a sunburned quality.

"Did I hurt you when I fell on top on top of you?"

Was her face actually hot pink?

"JUST TELL ME, ODANGO." He said exasperatedly.

Usagi's face flamed red and for a minute it was like watching the Gates of Hell open for the first time. Open only for him.

"What do you think, Baka! I'm mad about ALL of that stuff AND that you saw me naked!"

There was an oddly silent moment of pause before it finally registered. Mamoru turned a similarly dark shade of red and stammered.

"I-I-swe-I swear I di-didn't se-see anything Usa-"

WHACK!

"Ow, what the hell?" Mamoru clutched his head, eyes watering in pain. A wizened old woman stood over him, umbrella at the ready. "Watch your language, you scoundrel!" She screeched, hitting him into submission. "Now, apologise to this young lady here." She said, tossing her head at an embarrassed Usagi.

"No need!" Usagi squeaked, just as afraid of the psychotic old bat as Mamoru was.

The old woman looked scandalized.

"Child, he's a peeping tom!" Usagi clasped her hands behind her back, crossing her fingers. "Thank you for your trouble, Oba-san, but he's my boyfriend and I think I can handle him." She said breathlessly, lying through her teeth. The old woman looked at Mamoru shrewdly. "I don't believe it." She said flatly, tapping her weapon on the street with an air of menace more common in a spartan than in a senior citizen. Mamoru picked up on the scent of danger. "It's true," he offered quickly. The woman frowned and turned to Usagi. "Is he?" Usagi nodded. 'Please go away, please go away, please go away, PLEASE let us get away with as little embarrassment as possible.'

_You know what they say about self-fufilling prophecies, Usagi?_

'What?'

The woman's mouth twitched, watching the girl shift her gaze between her and the boy. This actually could be entertaining, never mind the age gap. "Kiss him and I'll believe you." She said finally.

_They tend to come true. Period._

Usagi's expression froze in shock. "What? But it's improper in public! Isn't that what old ladies always say?" The old woman smirked. "Only the single ones say that." Usagi turned to look at Mamoru as if to throw her hands up in despair when she saw him eye the old woman's umbrella like a mouse watching a viper. 'He's not that scared of her, is she?'

_I don't know but that beating he took sounded painful._

'I can't kiss him! He already took my first kiss!'

_Would you rather stand aside and let the poor deluded old hag think she's doing the city a favor beating him up?_

'Umm…no…'

_Well then, suck it up and pucker up!_

'WHAT!'

_JUST DO IT!_

'Okay, okay!' Usagi inhaled deeply and pulled Mamoru down by the collar, drawing herself up as high as possible to reach him. Their lips bumped and crashed but as the seconds passed they settled. It was like a reunion: all the sensations and thoughts and feelings came over them. It was a gentle kiss, not passionate or fiery but it was a charged embrace and a strangely confident one. When they came back up for air, Mamoru opened his eyes and almost bit back a laugh. Somewhere in all of this, Usagi had wrapped herself around him and now her hair was clinging to him, almost refusing to let him go. "Ah…here, Usa," He said as he gently untangled himself. He tried his best to keep it from snagging on his clothes and he'd hoped he hadn't pulled any out.

Usagi's eyes were amazed as Mamoru tenderly separated himself from her locks, handling the ropes of gold like silk. He let the ponytails fall softly on her back and stepped away.

'How did it come to this? Just yesterday, he was teasing me about my hair and now here he is touching it. Why?'

'_**He loves you'**_

This time a man's voice entered her head, deep and rich, so like Mamoru's and yet not. She wanted to ask who it was but before she could ask, the Princess's voice interrupted her.

_Endy? Is that you?_

_**Who else would it be, my love?**_

_Endy, _She said, half-chuckling, half-tense. _We're not exactly alone._

_**What do you mean? Whose voice was that earlier then?**_

'It was mine.'

Another voice joined the fray but this one was one Usagi could identify in a heartbeat.

'**Usagi? Endymion? Princess? What the fuck are you all doing inside my head?'**

Eh…

I may need to tweak the rating a bit now that I realize all the language I'm using. Egads, I have a potty mouth when I write. Do you think it's too much? Review and let me know?


	11. I Just Had A Disturbing Thought

Chapter Eleven:

I Just Had a Disturbing Thought

Thinking was Mamoru's domain. No matter what he was doing or where he was, whether he was cramming for a test or fighting a youma or buying groceries, there was always one sanctuary he could go to where he couldn't be disturbed and that was in his head.

''**Was' being the operative word'**, He thought miserably. And without a doubt, three other voices would jump on his last phrase. Sure enough, Usagi chirped up.

'What does operative mean?' She asked.

'**Forget it. You shouldn't have been listening anyway.'**

'Well how can I help it if I can't block you out?'

'**Learn to.'**

'That's a stupid answer. Besides, what's the point with blocking anyway? You can probably tell everything I'm thinking anyway.'

'**Well that's not the same case with me. There are some things I think about that no one should ever know, period.'**

'I'm already over the whole Tuxedo Kamen thing you know,' she said pointedly.

'**That's not it.'**

'Well, what is that you think about that's so secret?'

'**Isn't that a stupid question to ask a college guy?'**

'Is it?' Usagi looked at him, completely innocent. Ridiculously innocent, even. His face flamed, realizing that she was listening.

'**144, 89, 55, 34, 21, 13, 8, 5, 3, 2, 1, 1,'**

'Quit yelling out numbers! You're giving me a migraine!'

'**I'm focusing! Okay, pi is about 3.1415926535897932388462643383279 50288419716939937510…**'

'ACK! NUMBERS! DON'T SAY ANY MORE NUMBERS! I HATE NUMBERS!

'**5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679, eh…that's all I remember. I guess I could run through theorems…'**

'ALRIGHT! IT'S OFFICIAL! YOU, MAMORU-BAKA, ARE THE SCARIEST,HOTTEST, MOST ARROGANT NERD I HAVE EVER MET! CONGRADULATIONS, NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!'

'**Pythago-Odango?! What'd you say?'**

'That you're the scariest, hottest, most arrogant nerd ever? Oh kami-sama, please say I didn't just say that!'

'**Glad to know my hotness has caught on, Odango.'**

An unfamiliar sigh woke Mamoru from his and Usagi's mental conversation and he realized that they were still standing on the same sidewalk and that the old woman was still there, eyes glued to them as if she was watching her favorite sitcom. "It's so cute how in love you two must be to stare into each others' eyes like that." She said, no longer the grumpy old woman who hit Mamoru. "May all your children feel the same way." She said with a smile before walking away. Usagi looked at the retreating back of the old woman for a moment before her parting phrase registered.

'CHILDREN!?'

_I believe that's what she said, Usagi-chan._

_**And it's not a bad idea, either. Mamoru-san, Usagi-san, I don't suppose you'd mind if-**_

'_**NO!'**_

'NO!'

'Are you trying to scar me for life, Endymion-sama?! You sound almost exactly like Mamoru-Baka! It's just…disturbing.'

_What, are you jealous, Usagi-chan?_

'Not you, too!'

'**Can I say something?'**

'NO!'

'**Fine, if you don't want me to back you up…'**

'Don't abandon meeee with the scary disturbing couple!!!'

_**You know, Usagi, the same could be said of yours and Mamoru's relationship.**_

'We're not in a relationship, Endymion-ba-san. The only things we do involve milkshakes, hair, butt-ugly jackets, and general humiliation and rage all around.'

Mamoru was stunned. She'd just squashed Endymion's allegations with a single, articulate, and elegant sentence. Did she always have this talent?

'You really think I'm articulate and elegant?' Usagi asked, dazzled. Compliments from anyone are great, but when they're from your arch-enemy they're the best of all!

'**Hey, don't get a swelled head about it.' **Mamoru grumbled. Usagi grinned.

'No promises on that one, baka.' From somewhere in her head there was a noise of disgust.

_Ugh, I didn't know it was possible to sicken myself but then again you always try for the impossible, don't you?_

'Eeek! Serenity! I so do not act all lovey-dovey with Mamo-Baka! And especially not any worse than you do!'

_Then why do you call him your stupid protector? And why is it then that your friends are staring at you two like you've grown three heads?_

Hey comment and review! By the way I'm going to address this now before I move onto the next chapter but Rei doesn't have any feelings for Mamoru. It makes things way more complicated than they already are.


	12. Thou Shall Not Have Hateful Thoughtsm

Moonprincesswhowasarabbit:two sunglasses-wearing lawyer-types, a man and a woman, enter, dragging Ai(that's me!) by the hair. They toss her into her desk chair.

MAN: You can not claim to own Sailor Moon. It's against the law, and Naoko-sama will sue you otherwise.

WOMAN: Write the disclaimer in five minutes before I put you under arrest. yanks on ponytails.

Moonprincesswhowasarabbit: OWWW, OW, OW,OWWW, Okay!!! I DON'T OWN SAILOR MOON!!! LET ME GO!

WOMAN: Thank you. gives a final yank and leaves the room.

Moonprincesswhowasarabbit: massages scalp, grumbling Anytime, Bitch. notices MAN still standing there WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE!?

MAN: Uncomfortably Well you have some papers to sign-

Moonprincesswhowasarabbit: No.

Man: You have to.

Moonprincesswhowasarabbit: I said no.

MAN: mutters You don't have to PMS about it.

Moonprincesswhowasarabbit: loses it GET OUT BEFORE I SHOW YOU WHAT PMS REALLY MEANS!!! MAN ducks as a four-inch silver stiletto flies through the air and punctures a wall

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why the FBI is useless. They just don't appreciate the lethal beauty of shoes.

Chapter Twelve

Usagi cursed. 'SERENITY-SAMA! Why didn't you mention this earlier?'

_**Leave her alone, Usagi, she can't help being distracted.**_

_Definitely not, not with you in the room, _Serenity purred.

'**And especially considering you're her incarnation.' **Mamou cut in, effectively killing the mood.

Usagi's eyes filled with tears at this. 'Why do you have to be so cruel?' Mamoru was taken aback.

'**Usagi, I-'**

WHAM!

Mamoru clutched his nose, not in pain exactly, but in surprise. A fearsome albeit slightly shorter than him brunette pulled her fist back. "You've got to have a death wish to make Usagi cry with me around." She said harshly. Makoto looked down at her friend with concern. "Are you alright, Usagi?" Usagi blinked. "Where were you all day?"

"Eh…busy," She said evasively. The rest of the girls looked shifty and this and fidgeted. Minako changed the subject. "So, anyways, Usagi, want to go to the mall? Three Lights and W-inds are doing a joint thing there. You know you can't resist Keita (as you can guess, my favorite's Keita. But I don't had a crush on him. At least, I haven't had one on him since I was twelve.)"

Usagi lit up. "SUGOI! Later, Mamoru-san!"

"Hey! You can't go there!" Mamoru yelled after her. Usagi looked confused. "Huh, why?"

'Was that you talking or Endymion?'

'**It was me, Mamoru! What the heck are you thinking, Odango? What if the youma attack again?'**

'I didn't need you to be a watchdog for me all those other times, **Tuxedo Kamen-san**.'

It hurt a little that she didn't call with a –sama suffix, but Mamoru let it go.

'**All those other times I assumed that Sailor Moon was able to fend for herself as a civilian.' **He shot back. Usagi stepped back, stunned. 'All those other times, I thought Tuxedo Kamen-san was as kind during the daytime as he was at night.' She retorted. "I'm not a child, I'll go out with my friends whenever I want, Mamoru-baka!"

"What if I don't let you?" He asked, voice going dangerously soft.

Usagi stood on tip-toe, stretching to whisper in his ear. He shuddered slightly as he felt her warm breath. "Then I guess…you'll have to deal with it! Bye!" She ran from him laughing as she caught up with her friends. He blinked, stunned.

Her tinkling giggles hung in the air around him but inside his head a man's chuckle joined it, as well as a woman's snickering that sound eerily like Usagi's.

Mamoru swore a low oath.

"You'll pay for that one, Sailor Moon."


	13. It's Friggin Twilight Zone Here!

Disclaimer: Writes on chalk board

"I"

Breaks chalk

"Do"

New chalk

"Not

Third chalk

"Own"

Chalk breaks. Subject throw it across the room and hits lawyer.

"Damn, I'm sorry, sir." The man mouths the word LAW SUIT.

Subject loses it.

"What the hell?" pulls off hot pink pump and etches the rest of the sentence in. "Is that alright?" Subject asks. Lawyer smiles.

Okaay. Moving on.

Replying (is this how it works ? I don't know?)

Moonlight Sonata87: Tiens, le dos juste à vous !

Moonlover 46 : Mamoru will get his revenge, don't smiles

Xo Usako xo: this update okay with u?

"Oh, absolutely, Mamoru-Kun, I think I can make that happen. Mind you, my poor husband won't like it, but I'll take care of him." Ikkuko agreed, smiling indulgently at her daughter's "boyfriend."

"Thank you so much, Ikkuko-mama, it's more than I could have asked for." Mamoru said eagerly as he entered the Tskino home early the next morning.

Usagi would never know what hit her.

"Aiee!" Usagi woke up, screaming along with the alarm clock. "I'm gonna be l…what?" Her mouth dropped open in surprise as she looked at the clock or rather, the neatly written note in front of the clock.

**Usa-**

**Thought you might want to wake up and eat breakfast with the rest of us.**

Usagi drooped the note in disbelief.

'Mom woke me up?'

A gentle sniggering in her head sounded in head but she ignored it and shuffled downstairs in her pajamas. She was met with the welcome sight of pancakes piled high of a platter. "Thanks, Mom!" She chirped happily. A deep chuckle emerged from behind her. "Wow, a thank you from the Odango. Treasure, indeed."

"MAMORU?!" Usagi screeched, jumping up from her chair.

"Here you go, princess." He set down a plateful of blueberry pancakes, artfully cut out to look like bunnies. "Usagi, don't shout like that in the house. It isn't lady-like." Ikkuko reprimanded as she appeared in the doorway with a pitcher of orange juice. "I'm done." She said disgusted, and turned to stomp upstairs. Ikkuko looked at Mamoru sympathetically.

"Oh dear, that didn't go right at all."

"I give it two days." Mamoru said quietly, accepting the yen Kenji slipped him grudgingly. "You're on," Usagi's father growled.

Usagi sped through the house half an hour later, only to be stopped by Mamoru standing in the doorway. 'I'm driving you to school. Who knows what kind of youma show up in the morning?'

'You think you can be my bodyguard?' Usagi snorted.

'It's too late for you to argue with that one.'

"Watch me." She snarled as she shoved him aside and ran out the door, Mamoru practically on her heels. Ikkuko and Kenji continued to watch them, sipping their coffee almost meditatively. "You know," Ikkuko said slowly. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing half of a conversation around them. Don't you?" Kenji said nothing a sulking growl the only mark of his assent


	14. This is Mental!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Yet. That is the first thing I buy when I get a book deal. And that will be when I finish my crappy story. Still, do not despair, Dear Readers, for I have a plan.

Sorta.

Anyhow, a lot of you say the voices are unclear so here is a reference:

**'This means Mamoru's Thoughts.'**

_**This means Endymion's Thoughts.**_

'This means Usagi's Thoughts.'

_This means Serenity's Thoughts_

On y va! Lisez, svp!

It was halfway through the morning before Usagi realized her mistake.

"Usagi-san, are you alright?" Miss Haruna, mystified by her student's silence, was rewarded by a low rumbling. Usagi flushed. "Sorry, "Ms. Haruna," She muttered, now hearing Serenity's laughter ringing loud in her head.

'Shut up.'

_I don't mean to be rude, but did you see the look on her face? She was completely pole-axed! Earth just gets funnier and funnier with time, doesn't it?_

'I'm glad one of us is happy.'

**Well, if you hadn't been so stubborn refusing food from Mamoru-kun, you wouldn't be hungry.**

'Endymion-sama! Is Mamoru-baka there?'

**Relax, he can't hear you. He's taking notes, unlike a certain rabbit I know.**

_ENDYMION-SAMA! HOW COULD YOU!_

'ENDYMION-SAMA! THAT WAS MEAN!'

The combined sound of the two was ear shattering, and Usagi noticed several people wince. Endymion was disgruntled.

**I didn't mean anything by it. Gah, you women…**

_You don't seem to mind._

**I'm used to you.**

'Yeah, well I can't get used to ANYTHING hungry.' Usagi interrupted, pouting. She sneaked a glance at her teacher and satisfied that she was occupied, Usagi pulled a riceball out of her bento. But before it could make it into her mouth, someone grabbed her wrist and she dropped it.

'Dention, Usagi.'

Lunch never seemed so far away.

An hour later, Makoto and Ami watched in alarm as their blonde friend ate, chopsticks clicking furiously as she inhaled her own lunch, Makoto's second lunch and Ami's extra natto (A/N: I realize natto is really good for you and everything but ewww? It gives you major bad breath! But Ami, champion of Brain Food, probably takes breath mints, too. At least, for Zoi/Ryo's sake, I hope so)

"Eh, Usagi-chan," Ami began fearfully. "Don't you think you should breathe?" Usagi swallowed. "Mamoru-baka stayed for breakfast so I had to go without." She wiped her mouth and crumpled up her napkin. Makoto raised her eyebrows.

"Mamoru-san had breakfast with you? After what?" Ami turned white and clutched her books. " Usagi!" Ami squeaked. "Your virtue, what did you do?"

"Ami! Hentai! What I meant was that the Jerk made me breakfast! He tricked my mom into letting him into the house and my Dad didn't say anything! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?"

"Oh no, a hot guy made you breakfast. Poor baby." Makoto drawled. Usagi scowled. "You take him, then He's all yours." Makoto smirked. "I'm taken, can't help ya." Ami blushed visibly. "What's wrong withyou, Ami-chan?" Usagi frowned. A light suddenly went off in her head. "Are you two going out?"

Makoto choked. "That Dare was AGES ago, Usagi! Get your mind out of the gutter! Besides," She said triumphantly, "If you'd stayed for the Senshi meeting as planned, you'd know who we saw at the Arcade!"

"If you'd arrived on time, then I wouldn't have gone with Mamoru-Baka!"

"And if you two don't hurry up, we'll all be late again." Ami said regaining composure. Makoto looked at her watch and swore. "Cripes, I've got Chem. Come on, Usagi-chan!"

Usagi didn't move. "You still haven't told me who's your new boyfriend!" She protested. Makoto sighed but soon a very mischievous grin made its way across her face. "Fine, I'll tell you who the guy is if you tell me honestly what you think of Mamoru at tonight's meeting." She said before sauntering away, leaving a very shocked Odango behind.

'What did she say?"

REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!

Hey, if billboards can do it…why not me?


	15. Sexual Harassment I tell ya!

All through detention, Usagi was pissed.

Majorly. Pissed. Off.

Of course Ms. Haruna being who she was, had left the radio on. And of course, that meant love and breakup songs.

Which made her think of the whole expected to fall in love with Mamoru thing

Which made her depressed, annoyed, and hungry.

Maybe a good prank would cheer her up?

An idea began to formulate in her head and she rubbed her hands together.

Oh yes…if she could come up with something good to go along with it. It would work magnificently.

She'd called Makoto beforehand and after a lengthy conversation followed by much blushing, she'd figured out what she was going to do. All she needed was to call him, and NOW.

Stealthily she stole upstairs and began to dial.

One, two, three, rings…  
"Darien Chiba."

Usagi pinched her nose and began to speak. "Hello Mr. Chiba? Congradulations! You've been selected for a free session of phone sex! Just call this number again and you'll get your session! Goodbye!"

She was about to hang up when a smooth baritone spoke.

"What if I want my session now, Usako?"

Usagi panicked. "How'd you…what?"

"It's called Caller Id, babe."

"Don 't call me that…huh?" Usagi babbled,confused. Oh, she knew it wouldn't work! Why'd she listen to Lita?

"Okay, Odango. Since you don't want to talk I guess I will. Imagine…"

"No, no, no imagining!"

"going to my apartment at the dead of night and we go in the elevator…"

"NOOO!" She hung up but as soon as she did the phone did the phone rang again.

"NO MAMORU STOP TALKING!"

"Usagi?"An old woman voice asked uncertainly. Usagi facepalmed.

"Eh, sorry Oba-san" She said embarrassed, running downstairs to pass the phone to her mother.

_I wonder what he was going to say next. I mean, if I know Endymion, it's gotta be good. _

'Serenity?'

_Yes?_

'Shut up.'


	16. Authors Note

I was about to launch myself into a depression over the lack of reviews when I realized something.

There's an awful lot of invisible readers here.

Stop. I'm not blaming you. I realize that I'm guilty of it too.

So tell you what. For every story, every chapter I read, I promise to review because I know others like me ask for reviews too and don't get them. It's really sad and I want to avoid giving them as much of a headache as I've got. So heads up for a lotta reviews because I'm not kidding, I'm reviewing EVERYTHING.

Don't let that guilt you into reviewing though. Just remember that I'm just like you, hoping that my stories really don't suck as much as I worry they do.

Okay?


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